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The house that Sven built

November 7, 2010

Next Tuesday will mark three weeks since I moved into my apartment in Lyon. In that time, I have acquired the following necessities:

  1. Gas. Since the previous tenant’s contract had expired in September, when I moved in the gas had been switched off. This required me to use up an entire €20 phone voucher to call two different gas companies, set up accounts with each of them, and organise for someone to come out and turn the gas back on. A week of no hot water (and therefore no showers), no heating and no cooking ensued before a technician was available to rock up for 5 minutes to turn the gas on.
  2. Internet. Oh how connected we have become. Being offline for a week (excluding the occasional trip to a cafe with wifi) was close to unbearable. The sheer disconnect I felt from the world shows just how reliant I have become on the internet. I shall never take small things like consulting Google Maps to find a post office for granted again.
  3. Finally, and the reason for the title, furnishings composed entire of IKEA stuff.

My apartment has indeed become the house that Sven built. Or at least, the house that Sven provided the pieces for and I assembled with an Allen key. Saucepans, cutlery, plates, bowls, cups, glasses, cooking utensils, a chair, tea towels and a couch…all of this came straight from that Swedish warehouse of maze-like proportions.

But as I sat on my couch, watching TV on my laptop, beer perched safely on my Lack table, I came to the realisation that my apartment was complete. Now, it feels like home.

A day at the train station

October 16, 2010

Ah, that was a good lunch. Now, what’s going on here then? Better take off the old jacket…put that on the back of the chair there. No, try that again. Ok, take three. There we go. What’s this? A piece of paper. Is it important? Doesn’t look like it. Better make it look like it is though. Check both sides…nope. There we go. Put that to one side. Ok, mouse goes there, keyboard goes there, adjust the screen…much better. Right. Am I the only one serving right now? So I am. Wow, those people look pissed. Wonder how long they’ve been waiting? I should probably start serving them. One sec though. Where did I put my bag? …There it is. Ok, put that on my lap here, open it up, make it look important. Where’s my pen? Not in here obviously, but I better keep looking to make sure. Nope, definitely not in there. In this drawer? Nope. What’s that? Ah, a coin tray. Might need that later. Better take it out and give it a clean. Are they still waiting? Yep. Ok, that’s nice and clean now. I’ll just put that there…no, it looks better there. Right. Is the screen still adjusted right? Yep, that’s fine. All right, shift the old weight in the chair. Much better. I suppose I should start serv-oh hey, Marie! Have a good lunch break? You’re just walking up and down for no clear reason? Ha, I should give that a try. Actually, better not. Looks like a riot could break out here soon. Sigh. Do I really have to start providing customer service? Really? Fine.

Next, please.

House hunting with Jung

October 11, 2010

In my ongoing quest for somewhere to live in Lyon, I came across an ad on craigslist.fr advertising a 1 bedroom apartment for €470 a month. I sent off an inquiry, but as is the case, if it’s too good to be true, it probably is. Within 24 hours of the ad being posted, it had been flagged as spam and removed. However, the damage was done, and I had the guy’s email address. With not much else to do, I decided to have some fun with it.

From: Me
To: Jung Heegyun
Subject: Re: EUR470 / 1br – Fully Furnished Apartment In Lyon For Rent

Hello

I’d like to enquire about the apartment advertised for rent on craigslist. I was wondering if the apartment is still available for rent, and if so whether there is a bed? And does the 470/mois include les charges?

Regards
Me

————————————————————

From: Jung Heegyun
To: Me
Subject: Re: EUR470 / 1br – Fully Furnished Apartment In Lyon For Rent

Hi,

Thank you for mailing me regarding my apartment, the apartment is still available for now and well fully furnished, here is the location of my apartment ..24bis rue du lt col girard 69007 LYON FRANCE 00336

This home is extensive with an area and 1 bedroom, bathroom. the cabinets extended in kitchen and the site of the laundry, screen door that slipped of order in the lateral entrance.  It includes the guarantee. The apartment have just been renovated and we have each convenience that you could always wish. We have a friendly community of neighbors.. Portions of activities such as passages, bingo, clutch of the coffee, divided groups that roll and for every holiday. The restaurants, supermarket, the post office and the warehouses are within distance that walks

AMENITIES AVAILABLE OUTSIDE
Barbecue, Disabled Facilities, Allocated Parking space
Balcony Terrace

INSIDE
Kitchen,13’0″ x 11’0″  ( 3.96m x 3.35m )
Reception room 17’0″ x 16’0″ ( 5.18m x 4.88m  )
1Bedrooms  1 12’10” x 10’5″ ( 3.91m x 3.18m )
1Bathrooms 6’10” x 5’10” ( 2.08m x 1.78m )
washing  machine
American Kitchen Fridge & Freezer Oven
Microwave Dish Washer  Crockery & Utensils
Bath Shower Hair Dryer and Towels
Internet Dial  Up, Internet Broadband Cable/Satellite
TV, Stereo/Radio System DVD Player
DVD/Music  Collection
Library Telephone Fax
Central Heating Air  Conditioning
Separate WC 5’0″ x 2’10” ( 1..52m x 0.86m )

Am renting out the room due to my Job transfer to United Kingdom. I work with a shipping company in NY for some years and i do spend most of my times on board ship before i was transfer down to United Kingdom and work with Ever Green Shipping Company.

……………  APPLICATION FORM………….
Your Full Name
Your Full Address & Phone Number
How old are you?
Are you married?
How many people will be living in the house?
Do you have a pet?  pets are allowed
Occupation?
how long are you willing to stay
Nationality…
Date of move in and out…
Sex………………Male or Female.

And i need a responsible single or couples to take good care of the property and enjoy there stay. Get back to me as soon as possible with your application form so that we proceed.

Regards

————————————————————

From: Me
To: Jung Heegyun
Subject: Re: EUR470 / 1br – Fully Furnished Apartment In Lyon For Rent

Thanks for your quick response. Would I be able to visit the apartment today? My contact number is 06 xx xx xx xx, feel free to SMS or call me to arrange a time to visit. My application form is attached below.

Your Full Name: Me.

Your Full Address & Phone Number: 3, Avenue ——-, ——–
How old are you? 22.
Are you married? No.
How many people will be living in the house?  1, just myself.
Do you have a pet? pets are allowed. No pets.
Occupation?  Assistant teacher.
how long are you willing to stay: Until late April 2011.
Nationality… Australian.
Date of move in and out… Move in as soon as possible, move out April 30 2011.
Sex………………Male or Female. Male.

I look forward to hearing back from you.

Kind regards
Me

————————————————————

From: Jung Heegyun
To: Me
Subject: Re: EUR470 / 1br – Fully Furnished Apartment In Lyon For Rent

Hello, I can see your willingness in this Apartment and i want you to know that i’m satisfied with your profile and also believe that you can take good care of the apartment. l would not like to experience what l experienced  from my last tenant again that is why will hand over every thing to our lawyer. I  will love it if you can hold the keys of the apartment till when you are ready  to move in then i will be counting the month rent by then and non of my cloths  there,l showed your application to my Lawyer and he said he is satisfied with  it.l want you to know that we can let you stay in my apartment till the period  of time you wish to.I want you to know that the rent fee is among the apartment  utilities all included, so you can use them anytime but make sure you take  proper care of my property My lawyer will be receiving the a Month Rent and  deposit.

You may go ahead and view the apartment from outside with the address i gave to you in previous email and you seen the pictures of the inside and you cant view the inside the apartment due to the security guiding the apartment and without the keys and the document you will be embarrassed from our security.

Accommodation Features Interior Features:

Washer And  Dryer, Air Conditioning, Walk In Closets, Fireplace, Ceiling  Fan, Vaulted Ceilings, Cable Available, Intrusion Alarm, Jetted  Tub, Scenic View, Waterfront, Blinds, Attic, Heat

Kitchen Features:

BreakfastNook, DishWasher, Disposal, Microwave, Pantry, Refrigerator, Stove,

Rooms:

Crawlspace, Den, Dining Room, Living Room

Exterior Features:

Deck, Fence, Hot  Tub, Porch, Storage, Dock with Boat Lift, 2 Covered Parking  Spaces, Flooring, Carpet, Ceramic Tile, Hardwood

The apartment keys/documents will be delivered to you via UPS Delivery Service on next day delivery. Kindly get back to me with your home address for the shipping of the keys and the document of the apartment to your door steps. Once again  l’m giving you this apartment on trust and do not disappoint me because l dont  want our apartment to be destroyed again, if you wish to move in with your own  properties, we still have one extra room that is empty so you can easily put our  own things that you think you dont need in there. Here are the contents that will be delivered to you via UPS courier service.

1) Entrance and the rooms Keys

2) Paper/Permanent Flat form (Containing your reference details)

3) The Flat documented file.

4) Payment Receipts.

5)Full address  and description of the Apartment Thanks and let me know if you’re ready  to make the a month rent with deposit payment so the shipment for the packages  will be taken place to your door step UPS Delivery Service as soon as  possible.

Regards

————————————————————

From: Me
To: Jung Heegyun
Subject: Re: EUR470 / 1br – Fully Furnished Apartment In Lyon For Rent

Hello Jung

That is excellent news! I am able to make the first month’s rent payment and the deposit whenever you require it. Can you confirm the total being 940 euro (470 euro for the first month’s rent and 470 euro for the deposit)? As for the keys and documents, you can send the package to my current address:

Me
3, Avenue ——-, ——– .

I’ll be able to move in on Monday evening so I can pick up the package on Monday morning if that suits you.

Kind regards
Me

————————————————————

From: Jung Heegyun
To: Me
Subject: Re: EUR470 / 1br – Fully Furnished Apartment In Lyon For Rent

Thank you for getting back to me once again

I will like you to know that  my lawyer would have show you the apartment but she is right now in State  for  some Six Month program due to her profession that is the reason why you will be  receiving the keys and the document of the apartment via ups at your home  address you provide in your application form. You will be receiving the keys and the document of the apartment via ups at your temporary home address you provide in your application form. The UPS Office are ready to proceed with the shipment of the package (Keys and documents). I have forward your delivery home address to my lawyer in State and she is willing to proceed as soon as she confirm your deposit payment transfer. For now you will be making the deposit transfer of 470Euro via Western Union to my lawyer information below and after you receive the package then you will be making the Month Rent of 470Euro transfer .

Name….      Kelly Johnson
Address……5004 redell
City………   .Bay town
State……….Texas
Zip Code…….77521
Country……. United State

Get back to me as soon as possible so that we cam proceed.

Regards

————————————————————

From: Me
To: Jung Heegyun
Subject: Re: EUR470 / 1br – Fully Furnished Apartment In Lyon For Rent

Hello Jung

Once again, I appreciate your prompt reply. How exciting that your lawyer is studying in the State! I have been to the State before, it is very nice. Texas is a wonderful place, full of colourful characters.

I have decided that I would like to buy some fish for the apartment to give it some ambiance. Would this be ok as I would want at least six tropical fish? And maybe some plants to make them feel at home. It won’t be too much, just a few ferns and a small jungle canopy for shade.

Are you sure you don’t want the 940 euro at once? I would feel much more comfortable paying a lump sum and receiving everything at once.

Kind regards
Me

————————————————————

From: Jung Heegyun
To: Me
Subject: Re: EUR470 / 1br – Fully Furnished Apartment In Lyon For Rent

There is no problem if you are will to make the full payment and if you are willing to make the advance payment is all okay.

You will be receiving the package via ups withing 48 hours after you payment as been confirm. Thanks

Jung

————————————————————

From: Me
To: Jung Heegyun
Subject: Re: EUR470 / 1br – Fully Furnished Apartment In Lyon For Rent

Hello Jung

As I can’t move in until Monday, can you allow the package to arrive in 81 hours instead of 48? Otherwise I’ll have the inconvenience of carrying around the keys with me for two days, and I’m terrible with keys. I always lose them. Would you be able to send two sets so if I lose one I’ll still have a spare set?

Kind regards
Me

————————————————————

From: Jung Heegyun
To: Me
Subject: Re: EUR470 / 1br – Fully Furnished Apartment In Lyon For Rent

Okay good the package will be deliver to you within 81 hours with spare keys.

Get back to me as soon as you make the payment transfer so that my lawyer can proceed with the package before the ups office get close.

Regards

————————————————————

From: Me
To: Jung Heegyun
Subject: Re: EUR470 / 1br – Fully Furnished Apartment In Lyon For Rent

Thank you for that. But can you send the spare keys as a separate package? Otherwise if I lose one set, I’ll lose both sets together! If I could get the first package in 81 hours and the second package in 97 hours, that would be fantastic. But if I receive them in 98 or 99 hours, that’s ok too.

I’ve only got 930 euro on me at the moment, can I send you the other ten next week? Otherwise I’ll send the total amount next week.

Kind regards
Me

————————————————————

From: Jung Heegyun
To: Me
Subject: Re: EUR470 / 1br – Fully Furnished Apartment In Lyon For Rent

Okay no problem.

I have sent all your request to my lawyer mail address and it shall be done.

You can make the payment transfer of the 930Euro and when you arrive next week then you will be making the rest balance of 10Euro.

Regards

————————————————————

From: Me
To: Jung Heegyun
Subject: Re: EUR470 / 1br – Fully Furnished Apartment In Lyon For Rent

Hello Jung

I went to Western Union but I only realised once I got there that because it was 8pm they were closed. Just my luck! I also couldn’t get my laundry done either so now I have no clean socks for tomorrow. I wish some businesses would stay open longer instead of closing by 6pm.

Can I send you the money instead tomorrow?

Regards
Me

————————————————————

From: Jung Heegyun
To: Me
Subject: Re: EUR470 / 1br – Fully Furnished Apartment In Lyon For Rent

Hi,

Kindly get back to me as soon as possible with the payment details so that we can proceed as soon as possible with the package.

Regards

————————————————————

From: “Paul Johnson”
To: Jung Heegyun
Subject: File AUS46237

To Whom It May Concern

I regret to inform you that Me and the whole of France have been captured by the Taliban. Their whereabouts are currently unknown, but intelligence believes that they may be somewhere near the Pakistan/Afghanistan border.

Any and all correspondence will now be investigated in order to compile a dossier on Mr. Me. I would ask that you provide your full contact details so that you may assist us fully. Any obstruction to our investigation will be treated as suspicious and will result in legal action.

I thank you in advance for your cooperation.

Yours Sincerely

Paul Johnson
Public Liaison
Ministry of Foreign Affairs
Canberra ACT
Australia

————————————————————

I can’t think why I never got a response.

 

 

From: Me
To: Jung Heegyun
Subject: Re: EUR470 / 1br – Fully Furnished Apartment In Lyon For Rent

Hello

I’d like to enquire about the apartment advertised for rent on craigslist (http://lyon.fr.craigslist.org/apa/1991529808.html). I was wondering if the apartment is still available for rent, and if so whether there is a bed? And does the 470/mois include les charges?

Regards
Me

 

 

Making first impressions

October 6, 2010

My alarm rang. 7am, brilliant, I thought, hitting snooze. 15 minutes later (or so I thought), the alarm rang again. 8am stared back at me. My brain slowly processed this news. I had to be at school at 9am to teach. It takes roughly an hour to get there. This was not good.

As I staggered out of bed, I realised I was in fact still drunk. Thoughts of crawling up into a  ball and dying were appealing. Hazy images of the night before slowly filtered back. So let us begin before that.

Monday was my first day of teaching so at 11.30 I set off on the journey. I arrived well before the meeting time of 1pm so I wandered for a bit before heading in to meet Caroline and my other teachers. Lunch was underway so I sat with Caroline, Fathia and Marion, my teaching crew, and worked out what I would be doing  today. It was agreed that of the three classes I was due to teach, I would only be attending one. That left me with a good two hours to kill, so in the meantime I was told to head to my other school and see if I could negotiate my hours, as for some reason they had decided me working all day on Fridays would be a good idea. As this would not be conducive to my travel plans, I disagreed.

I set off to the school down the road but finding it guarded by various juvenile delinquents, I rather lamely walked around the block before returning to find them gone. As luck would have it, the principal was at the gate, so she told me to go on in and wait for her. I did just that. Once in her office, I introduced myself and explained my situation. Unfortunately, the head of English was not in on a Monday afternoon so I was given his phone number and told to call him to work something out. Feeling rather defeated, I headed back.

At 3.30 I set off with Caroline to take my first class. Taking 10 students, we found an empty classroom and I let them ask me questions in broken English. Particularly noteworthy were probing questions like ‘What is your favourite brand?’ and ‘Do you have a wife?’ Soon enough, the hour was up and I had survived my first day as an unqualified teacher.

Back at the hostel I ran into Andy, who informed me that there were a bunch of people going for 1 euro beers at a bar called Cosmopolitan. I had work at 9 the next morning, but decided to go out for one or two drinks. Famous last words as they say.

Cosmopolitan was packed and the music was terrible, so Andy and I ordered 6 beers and drank them outside. Not wanting to fight our way back in, I decided we should investigate the Australian-themed bar up the road, Ayers Rock. After a Coopers, we discovered that they had 3 euro cocktails on offer. Things rapidly went downhill from there. After our third round, the barman asked us, ‘Are you guys getting fucked tonight?’ By this stage, all signs pointed to yes, so he poured out three shots and drank with us. We got another free shot a couple of rounds later, and my memory of the night ends here.

The next morning, as I swayed in front of the mirror, I took stock of the situation. I was still wearing my jeans and socks; upon arriving home I had managed to take my belt and shirt off but after that had apparently given up. I couldn’t remember how or when I got back; given how tired and drunk I still was, it was evidently late. I had to eat something, pack my bag and leave ASAP, a shower was out of the question. So I staggered into the kitchen, downed a bowl of cereal, grabbed my bag and power walked to the station.

On the train I tried to nap and be sober. I failed on both counts. I arrived at my stop and ran for the tram that was pulling in. 15 minutes later, right on 9am, I got off the tram and walked to school. Struggling with my jumper and bag, I looked up and walked straight into a tree. Fucking hell, I thought, hearing the laughter from someone behind me, can this day get worse? Fortunately it did not; I found the classroom, and believing I had successfully hidden my inability to focus my eyes on anything, spoke to Fathia. Apparently not noticing the cut on my head I had sustained after my altercation with the tree, she gave me a group of 6 students and told me to find an empty classroom. I amused myself with the idea that in this state, I was now in charge of a group of children.

After struggling with the key, I authoritatively flicked on the lights and walked in. The kids stood at the desks, waiting. “Sit down,” I commanded. They did so. And we were off. I passed the hour by sipping at my water bottle and answering more questions. The class ended, and by 11.30, I was finally sober. I made use of the coffee machine to get me through the other two classes, and at 2pm, Marion sent me on my way. By now I was utterly hungover and wanted nothing more than to go back to bed.

But the important this is, I survived.

The long haul

September 25, 2010

Funnily enough, the title refers to both the time I spent in transit from Melbourne to Lyon, and what I’ll be in for while searching for a place to live. As I begin my fourth full day here, I’m trying to put off heading down to more agences to receive my dose of disappointment by writing a summary of what has happened so far.

On a cold Melbourne night I waited around the international lounge until 11pm, when my flight opened after a short delay. I was determined to break my can’t-sleep-on-planes hoodoo by ignoring the extensive entertainment channels offered by Qatar Airways and instead pulled on a blanket and shut my eyes. An hour into the flight however, dinner came. With a full(er) stomach, I settled back to try to sleep again.

As so often happens in these situations, I’m not sure exactly when I finally managed to drift off to sleep, but I awoke with 4 hours until the stopover in Doha. I amused myself with a couple of movies and later stepped into the early morning heat of Doha (30 degrees at 5am is simply not fair). I waited a couple of hours in the sticky airport before the connection to Paris opened and I was once again en route. The second leg was uneventful, I’d given up on sleep by this point and instead planned my visa-related questions for immigration.

The plane touched down a little after 2pm and off I trundled to immigration. Through a combination of lack of sleep and no recent exposure to French, I grappled to understand what the immigration officer replied to my questions before heading to the baggage carousel to wait for my 24kg bohemoth. Suitcase acquired, I headed for the train station, waving away the various ‘taxi drivers’ who approached me. 20 minutes later, I was in Paris.

The queue for tickets at Gare de Lyon was obscene, but I gritted my teeth and stood in the line for the next 40 minutes before getting a ticket to Lyon. A quick baguette later, I was on board and speeding south through the countryside. I dozed off on the train and awoke in alarm, thinking I’d missed my stop. Fortunately, it was still 5 minutes away. I disembarked and headed into the warm night for the metro, managing to break a handle on my case in my irritation/impatience of getting it through the ticket barrier.

After a nightmarish walk up an incredibly steep hill, I arrived exhausted at the hostel. In front of me sprawled a school group of 20 students, so I stood and waited while they were checked in. After an age they were done, so I approached reception, only to be told that it was closed between 8pm and 9pm. Fortunately, since the school group had taken so long it was 8.40, and so 20 minutes later I was checked in and struggling up to the third floor. After a shower I crashed into bed and slept soundly.

In the days following, I visited my school and met the teacher I’ll be working with, Caroline. I also went through the mountain of paperwork required by the government or the powers that be for me to work as an assistant. It rained and I got wet. I found a perfect 3 bedroom apartment with an English guy only to find it had been taken. I somehow managed to open a bank account by using the school’s address and only understanding half of the conversation with the bank teller. I got drunk on wine and 1664, hired a bike and rode around Lyon at midnight.

But I still don’t have anywhere to live. Balls.

One week out

September 13, 2010

This time next week I will be frantically packing last minute bits and pieces before boarding a plane that will bear me to France. As is the case in any situation where something is coming to an end, the week will inevitably fly by and be over before I know it. Time is a constant, the flow of it however is elastic.

While I’m no stranger to the travelling game, this trip is totally different in that I’ll be settled in a place for more than a few weeks. Additionally, there’s the various tribulations I’ll face with bureaucratic paperwork, finding a place to live and the seemingly-mundane tasks of setting up bank accounts, phones and so on. Not to mention finding that local cafe, bakery and wine shop.

And of course, like anyone on the verge of the next grand adventure, I can’t help but wonder what the next nine months will bring. I try not to have too many expectations because such things influence the kind of experience I’ll take from it. But still, when I think about what I was doing nine months ago, a lot can happen and change in such a relatively short period of time. What will I be like in June? Will I have had some sort of life-changing experience? Doubtfully. I mean, if I haven’t had one before, what makes this so different?

Perhaps the thing I look forward to most is the gaining of hindsight. Looking back on former fears and stresses pales them into trivialities, and makes one wonder what one was even worried about in the first place. So while right now I may be stressing over not be able to find an apartment I can afford or accidentally overstaying my visa, in time, I’ll wonder what all the fuss was about.

I hope.

The times they have a-change-d?

September 8, 2010

Not too long ago, I read an article about an interracial couple living in America in the early 1960s. It detailed how their marriage was ‘illegal’, the police raids to make sure they weren’t committing the crime of interracial intercourse, and generally struggling to live in a world that by and large refused to accept their love. Fortunately, the world has somewhat realised the error of its ways, and such treatment is now considered both repugnant and illegal.

I say somewhat because there is a contemporary parallel to be drawn between what constitutes an ‘acceptable’ marriage. In this case however, the focus has shifted from race to gender. Granted, marriage has its history in male/female relations, but it was politics that gave it the racial dimension. Religion has obviously played the largest role in defining marriage, placing the ceremony in a church (because that is clearly the only place the eyes of God can see it from). However, the issue now is how relevant religion remains to marriage. Because after all, this seems to be the main argument against gay marriage.

It is a fact – lamented by some – that church attendance has been dwindling, whether due to scandals, apathy or irrelevance (or all of the above). Similarly, couples are moving towards ‘non-traditional’ ceremonies on beaches, in parks or underwater, conducted by celebrants instead of priests. Thus there has clearly been a shift from religious to legal marriage. The question is, with people choosing to get married in a purely legal fashion, why does gay marriage remain such a controversial issue?

For all the progress and attitudinal changes society has made over the last few decades, homosexuality remains an identity that many are uncomfortable with. It is the equality that gay marriage would lead to that is the very thing that undermines its prospects. If homosexuals are put on the same level as heterosexuals, well, that just changes the whole game. Homosexuality is fine as long as some part of it can be hidden away and ignored or looked down upon. Schoolyard insults still revolve around sexuality. It is ‘insulting’ to be gay, and it grates on my ears to hear people use the term in a derogatory fashion. As Joe Jackon said, don’t call me a faggot, not unless you are a friend.

What really shits me though is the double standard. I have had conversations about marriage that go like this:

Me: I’m not a firm believer in marriage because I’m not religious.
Person of double standards: Yes, but marriage doesn’t have to be about religion.

And then:

Me: What’s your objection to gay marriage?
Person of double standards: The bible says marriage is between a man and a woman!

So marriage is only religious when it suits your agenda it seems. You may have not attended church in 30 years and Christmas is good because it gives you a week off work, but dammit, you’ll stand up for what’s in the bible! And you know, those other Christian values of not casting stones and being nice to others.

As can probably be evidenced from this, I have no problem with gay marriage because at the end of the day, I cannot see any legitimate opposition to the idea. It is simple enough to separate religion from marriage these days, so objections on religious grounds are spurious.  Furthermore, I am firmly of the belief that if something doesn’t directly affect me, I should just shut the fuck up about it (something that a lot of people should take heed of). I don’t care if Bob can marry Jim, and it doesn’t affect your dead-end marriage with your fat wife either, Harry. Just let them be as miserable as you are.

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