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Peter’s diary

August 11, 2010

On the train the other day, I found a rather dog-eared notebook. Upon viewing its contents, I realised it was the diary of none other than Peter Garrett. In order to give the general populace an idea of some of the machinations of the ALP, I’ll share a couple of extracts.

April 27
Read in the paper this morning that we’re dropping the ETS. What the hell, Kev? Why didn’t anyone tell me? Rang Jules to ask her about it. She told me to talk to Swanny. Swanny said I should ask Linds. Linds told me to go talk to Kev. Kev didn’t answer his phone.

May 14
Ran into Tony in the corridor. He’s looking good. I told him so. He said my music was shit. What an arsehole.

June 22
Jules was walking around all day with a big smirk on her face. No idea why.

June 24
Watched the news this morning. Kev announced he was stepping down while I was eating my cornflakes. Choked on one. Why doesn’t anyone tell me anything? Saw Kev cry. Had a bit of a chuckle.

July 18
Asked Swanny if we could use one of my songs in the campaign this year. He told me I should ask Jules about that sort of thing. I suggested ‘Beds are Burning’. Jules said it wasn’t a good idea, it might remind people of the insulation thing. I guess she’s got a point.

August 4
Campaign’s not going so well. Told Jules I was ready to get out there on the campaign trail. She said it would be better if I kept doing behind the scenes work. I insisted. Got to do a press conference. A good day.

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