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Love and Cynicism: A Love Story

September 21, 2009
tags: ,

A while ago, someone came up with the idea of love. This has made a lot of people angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

Douglas Adams references aside, there is undoubtedly some truth to this. What other emotion is so confounding? In my experience, no other emotion has the power to so completely fuck with any semblance of a thought process. Logic plays no part in love. From time to time it is simply there. There is no compelling explanation for its spontaneous existence. Then, it can disappear entirely before raising its head again later on. It can linger for months on end, occasionally bursting into fanfare before returning to its usual stoical state. Whatever the case, it takes a variety of guises and forms, all of which provoke deep insecurities, self-doubts, wonderfully convoluted thinking patterns and explosive outbursts of ‘goddamn this shit to hell!’ In short, love is completely and utterly stupid.

Let us start from the beginning. Person A meets Person B. Through an unwritten contract at an unspecified juncture, Person A and B decide that they are friends. Together, Person A and B go for coffees, watch movies, eat food, visit local art exhibitions; whatever the order of the day is. Person A develops an attraction for Person B, the larval stage of love as it were. Immediately upon reaching this stage, Person A compiles a list of 50 reasons why nothing will ever come of this love, and why the two will be doomed to that hideous state of ‘just friends’. Perhaps it’s just the suspicious nature of human beings, but there’s always a tendency to lean towards the negative (such as throughout this post).

Person A is now in a stage where he/she will justify to himself/herself why not proceeding with anything is a good move. Among the top reasons are wanting to sustain the friendship (as to try to make a move will undoubtedly completely and utterly destroy the previous time spent constructing it. This laughingly flies in the face of logic) or writing off any chance Person B would be interested in such a course of action (despite painstakingly constructing various imagined scenarios on how it will work out).

Throughout this process, Person A will agonise over every sentence of conversation and every word of a text message, conducting deep analysis in order the gauge the chances of a relationship with Person B, despite holding little to no hope that anything will come of it. Of course, an objective analysis is impossible and so sublteties that aren’t actually there are read into (or vice versa, of course). This process generally takes a few weeks, after which Person A will inevitably admit defeat and meet with his/her close friends over a coffee in order to justify to himself/herself (and occasionally the close friends) why things ended up the way they did. Person A feels somewhat better and finds someone else to be attracted to, and the whole process begins again.

On the odd occasion however, something else happens. Perhaps Person A is having a rare spell in which he/she is enjoying an increased sense of self-confidence. Perhaps Person B is giving off blatant signs. Or perhaps Person A has been drinking. Whatever the cause of this anomaly in thinking patterns, Person A decides to hang the expense and make a move. And unbelievably, something just might happen.

Or Person A comes to their senses and says nothing. Anyone up for a coffee?

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